Tom Gruber left us on January 15, 2026 after a long and courageous battle with Multiple System Atrophy – a rare condition very much like Parkinson’s. He was born January 18,1950 in San Antonio, Texas the son of LTC Thomas Gruber, Sr. (Army Retired) and Margaret/Peggy (Kinek) Gruber. He attended the DOD school system in Darmstadt, Germany through 2nd grade, then St. Anne Grade School in Phoenixville, Pennsylvania and graduated from Phoenixville High School in 1968 more well known for his athletic ability (especially basketball) than his scholastic achievement. He was named Senior Athlete of the Year.
He graduated from The Citadel, The Military College of South Carolina (Charleston) in 1972 as a proud member of Oscar Company, married Sharon Austin in August 1972, and then was commissioned as a Lieutenant in the U.S. Army as a Medical Service Corps Officer and assigned as a Company Commander at Fort Carson, Colorado. In 1974 he reported to the U.S. Army Command in Berlin, Germany as a Medical Supply Officer where he was the Officer in Charge for the new American Military Hospital being constructed. There he met his wife, Margery Danowski, who was in Berlin as a DOD civilian working as the Youth Director for military dependents. They were married in Berlin in 1981.
Returning to the US in 1981, Tom served in the Army Reserves as the Executive Officer of the 1125th Medical Service Corp in Auburn, Maine from 1981 – 1992 and retired from the U.S. Army January 18, 1992; he was reactivated for Operation Desert Storm and was stationed at Ft. Devens, Massachusetts.
While serving in the Reserves, Tom worked at Mercy Hospital, Portland, Maine from 1981-2000 as VP, Support Services /Operations, followed by VP of Supply Chain Management for the Catholic Health East Health System in Newtown Square, Pennsylvania from 2000-2006 and then retired.
Tom loved his family and community and worked tirelessly to help whoever he could whenever he could. He had the uncanny ability to make anything a special event. He could tell a good joke and story and used this sense of humor for conflict resolution. Some of the organizations Tom was involved with as a volunteer and/or Board Member included Preble Street Resource Center, Pequawket Lake Preservation Association, Southern Maine Agency on Aging, the Vet2Vet Program, Aging in Place in the Town of Cumberland and the Cumberland Food Pantry. Tom served on the Cumberland Town Council from 2011- 2022.
Sports were a huge part of Tom’s life; he coached youth teams since he graduated from college and played baseball into his 50’s. One of the awards he was most proud of was “Portland Senior League – Rookie of the Year.” In his later years, he became passionate about umpiring youth baseball and softball until his knees gave out. Tom was a lifelong fan of any Philadelphia sport team, especially the Phillies and the Eagles.
Tom leaves behind his wife of 44 years, Margery (Margie), Margie’s youngest sisters, Terry Danowski of Cumberland, Maine, and Patricia Pettine and her husband, Chris, of Fort Collins, Colorado who they co-raised as their own daughters with their mom, Irene, after the death of their father. Uncle Tommy leaves behind Terry’s children, Tommy, Mischa and Will; Patricia and Chris’s son, Joshua; and Eric and David, sons of his sister-in-law Elaine and Rick Bruhn (deceased), and Eric Reny whom he thought of as a son. With them he spent countless hours imparting words of wisdom and lots of jokes and stories.
His oldest sister, Christine (Crissy) Norris Chambers, predeceased him and leaves behind his niece, Jennifer, and his nephew, Toby, and their children; his sister, Cathy Goss and her husband Jeff of Reading, Pa. and their sons Eric and Adam and their children; and his brother, Jerry and his wife, Lisa of San Antonio, and their sons, Jerry, Rob, and Patrick and their children.
Special thanks to Sue Gold, former Executive Director of the Vet2Vet program, who brought John McCarthy into Tom’s life, and his wife, Leigh. Through the Vet2Vet program, John had visited Tom almost weekly since September 2022. Leigh successfully researched the VA Category of “Catastrophic Disability” which resulted in one of Tom’s most significant benefits…the VA Home Care Team. This benefit brought Vince, the PA, super nurse Jodi, and the rest of the team into the lives of the Grubers which supported most of Tom’s medical needs at home. Special thanks also to Right at Home Senior Care of Scarborough, Maine…Kelsey, Shelby, and Dave who made sure Tom always had caregivers and especially to Adelia, Crispin, and Laurie… “caregivers extraordinaire”. Thanks to Beacon Hospice, especially Tom’s nurse, Kayla, who assisted the family in giving Tom a dignified and peaceful passing at home where he wanted to be.
There will be a celebration of Tom’s life in the late spring… his favorite time of the year. Donations in Tom’s honor can be made to any of the organizations mentioned above. More importantly, it would mean more to him if you gave of your time in lieu of a donation.
Please visit www.lindquistfuneralhome.com to sign Tom’s online guest book
Published online by the funeral home and scheduled to be published, Sun. Jan. 25, 2026 in the Maine newspaper.